Going on a first date might feel really awkward and uncomfortable. You both want to put your best self forward without being too pushy, too talkative, too quiet, too loud, etc. You want to impress but you don’t want to be stressed.
A date is an opportunity to learn about each other so the most convenient way to break the ice of awkwardness is to greet your date politely and ask a question. Ask a question that encourages your date to discuss or explain the topic. Most importantly, ask a question that shows you are interested to learn about them.
Here are 10 questions to ask your date to get the conversation started.
How was your day?
It’s a basic question but one that allows for many options for an answer. Your date may choose to talk about how they came up with their getup because of the weather or about their experience commuting to the venue. This question is simple, easy to answer but general enough that you are sure to find something common to talk about from the answer.
What do you do for a hobby?
This question instantly shows your interest in getting to know them. You might even find that you have the same hobby. If not, then it’s a chance to learn more about the person and their favorite activity.
What was the most recent film you watched?
You can also reword this question in line with your own interests. So you can ask about the most recent book they read, the most recent travel location they’ve been to, the most recent TV show they’ve watched or even the most recent food place they went to. You might sound like you’re asking for a review but the answer to this question can give you some common ground to start your conversation.
What’s the funniest/most embarrassing thing that happened to you?
This question invites your date to share something personal about themselves but dilutes the seriousness of the subject to lessen the awkwardness. At the same time it demands that they be courageous enough to laugh at themselves. So if your date has a funny bone then how they answer this question will definitely show their sense of humor.
If this question seems too demanding for a conversation starter, then you can start by answering the question yourself. Share your story so your date knows that you want them to do the same.
Does your name have a story?
Encourage your date to talk more about themselves and their personality, even their family with this question. Be sure to share your own interesting story about how your name was decided too. This question requires a lot of family history to explain away so you get to learn so much of your date’s personality and their family atmosphere. This question is specially great when your date has a rather long or unusual name.
What’s on your bucket list?
Everyone has dreams and sharing your dreams with someone who is truly interested to listen is a pleasurable experience for most people. Your date may mention several things that you have in common so be sure to keep your bucket list in mind as you listen.
What’s your dream vacation like?
If you’re not ready for their bucket list then ask something specific. Asking about their dream vacation touches on several topics at once and their answer could give you an insight on their appetite for travel, the kind of place they want to go to, the kind of food they want to eat, etc. Or you might find out that they are actually a home buddy and prefer a staycation where they can cook their own food and watch their favorite movies. Their answer gives you a peak at your date’s personality and preferences.
What’s the best thing that happened to you this month/week?
This is a good way to stay on the positive side of things. This question allows your date to share their happy memories and/or voice out their concerns at work or at home if it is related to their story. You should be ready with a story of your own. Sharing happy memories should allow the both of you to open up more and lift up your moods as well.
What first impression do people usually have of you?
People usually give off a different impression than their real personality so this is a chance for you and your date to clear things off at the start. Some people are deemed as having bad personalities just because they have a “resting bitch face” when in fact they are just shy.
You could break the ice by answering the question first and informing your date that you know of this situation. Your date will feel much more comfortable talking to you and will be more open to answering the question.
What’s your favorite season of the year?
Their answer to this question gives you an insight into their personality and the things they most enjoy. They might answer with summer or they might answer with Christmas. They might also give more than one answer. Their answer could also give you clues on what types of activities you can enjoy on your date if you have no specific plans yet.
These are just some question to get your conversation started and your date’s awkwardness levels going down. Of course, depending on the things you already know or want to know about your date, you can change these questions and/or add follow-up questions. Be sure to be willing to answer the questions yourself too.
Keep the conversation light and interesting and avoid topics like religion and politics that may start an argument instead of a fun conversation. If you do find yourselves not agreeing on a topic, then just agree to disagree or to think about it further. This way, you don’t close off channels for further communication in future. Remember that you should be making connections on your date and not burning bridges. Just be yourself and enjoy the whole experience and be truly interested in your companion.
Have an enjoyable date!